Sometimes it pays to just keep to yourself… but there are rare occasions where it’s better to be nosey. What struck me was the way she was sitting, the way her dress just clung to her. It was just too inviting and, if I were any more of a man, then I probably would have walked over to her and asked her for some lemonade.Instead I just blushed and stumbled upon my way. It was just after six on a mild evening; one that I’d been aching for. I live a very simple life and I love nothing more than to lose myself in the woods for a couple of hours with a good book and let the world turn without me.
Work had been boring as usual and it had been blisteringly hot toiling in the fields again, and all that I wanted was to spend the evening in the leafy shade. Her home was just a normal cottage; crouched there minding it’s own business.
Part of me wished that I could just throw caution to the wind and go up and talk to her, but I also knew that she probably hadn’t even seen me. More to the point, if I had gone up to her then it was pure harassment and there was no way I could live with that!
I pretty much forgot her whilst sitting in the woods. I managed to find a really nice secluded spot with views across a wide area and I even managed to see a couple of roe deer. I saw no other people for the two hours I sat there, and the only reason I started back home was it was getting chilly -the sun was setting and I didn’t fancy walking back in the dark.
Strangely enough the woman was on the grass but sat more provocatively. She saw me before I managed to pretend to ignore her more believably. As it was she beckoned to me and I actually looked around, not being able to believe my luck. She smiled at my naivety and asked if I fancied a glass of lemonade.
I nearly laughed at that and had to stop myself from pinching my arm -this sort of thing never happened to me. I thought she’d just go and get some but she invited me into her house. This was getting surreal and I knew that I should just get back to the car and go home but I just couldn’t. I could see that the dress was actually transparent in places and she wasn’t actually anything at all underneath. She turned round at the base of the stairs and looked at me.
“Do you really want the lemonade or is there something else I can offer you?” What was happening? There’s an old adage that states: ‘If something’s too good to be true then it probably is -be wary!’. But whoever came up with that was never faced with such a proposition and I just nodded. She asked me what my name was in a husky voice, and, for some bizarre reason, I gave her a completely different name -that of my Cousin: Gordon. Chances are this was just going to be a one night stand so it would never matter what my real name was. It added a bit of protection. We often swapped identities for a lark. We looked so alike that we often joked we could have been twins. Normally it didn't matter who was who, but I wish I'd checked whose wallet I was carrying this time...
She took me upstairs and led me to the bedroom. All around the room were crystals, decorating every shelf. Small ones, coloured ones and great big geodes! Right then I knew I should have asked more questions, or even just the one question: are you married? But my brain was no longer running the show -just as she had correctly assumed- and all i could think of was her mouth which was now exploring mine as she pulled me onto the bed. I just couldn’t believe what was happening and as she started stripping me I started counting my blessing and I almost got to twenty before the bedroom door suddenly slammed open! That one question I should have asked was now standing right in front of me. I was sitting on the bed, my trousers across one side of the room, my shirt on the other. And this husband was built like a boxer…. I was in deep now.
He was shouting at her and lunging at me as I tried to get out of the way; all I could feel was the adrenaline coursing through and the thoughts were just to get out of there. I barely noticed her pick up the many crystal geodes she had about the place and put in my hand. I didn’t even question my reflexes as I ducked under one of the husbands lunges and followed through with the geode as it connected with his head. Despite what the story books say it only took that one blow - he lunged no more; I’d killed him.
By the time I’d come to my senses and managed to stop myself from throwing up she’d already called the police! You can imagine what I was thinking! I can’t help but wonder how long she’d been planning this and just what made me chump of the month!
When the police arrived and started questioning us she showed me just how good an actress she really was. Apparently we’d been having an illicit affair for months and tonight was the first time her husband found out. I vehemently disagreed with every aspect of her story; and when she tried placating me by calling me Gordon I knew I had that extra bit of leverage that would add traction to my story.
“Ha!” I said. “My name’s NOT Gordon, officer.”
“Why would you give a phoney name, sir?”
“I have no idea… precautions? Thinking on my feet?”
“So what is your name, Sir?”
“Brian.” I said, triumphantly.
“Would you mind showing me your wallet; does it have your drivers license or any means of identification?”
“Yes. It does.” I said smugly and walked over to the tossed away jeans and passed the wallet to the officer. It took him a few minutes to look through it. He found the drivers license with my photo on it and asked me for my name again. I replied again with my real name: “Brian Hobdson.”
“If that’s the case then, Sir; please could you explain why your drivers license… with your photo on it, has the name of Gordon Hobdson on it?”
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