The Meldings (8) - The Handle

“What can you tell me about Granma Josephine?” Smidge asked her mum and watched as the colour drained from her face. Less than half an hour had passed since Smidge had woken up from a three week coma. Three weeks? For Smidge only hours had elapsed since escaping from the trap that the school bully, Gert, had set for her. Gert had made her life hell ever since Smidge had moved to a new school and had almost succeeded in killing her and her mother at least twice.

Smidge, who had been gifted with the ability to open ‘magic’ doorways from one place to another, had tried confronting Gert by pushing her into an unattached room, but Gert had somehow escaped, leaving the room to disintegrate around her. Smidge found herself in a limbo and had met her Grandmother, of all people, who had been trapped for years –apparently ever since her mother had sent her there. Smidge barely got out with her life; but there was something else there ‘behind’ her Grandmother that was immensely powerful. When she escaped from the limbo Smidge found herself back in her own bed only to be told that three weeks had elapsed. Now she wanted answers to what had been going on and the cornerstone to that was finding out about Grandma Josephine. Mrs Norn was there, she looked at Smidge’s mum and nodded.

“So you both know.” Smidge said trying to curb her anger.

“I think that its best you tell her, Julia.” Mrs Norn said. Smidges mum sighed.

“I’m sorry, darling – part of me wanted to tell you when you were old enough; but the rest of me hoped it would never come to this. It nearly missed me.”

“But it didn’t miss you, did it, mum?”

“No. I guess I was just trying to be overprotective.”

“What happened?” Smidge snapped.

“I think you should calm down a bit, Smidge.” Mrs Norn replied.

“Don’t call me Smidge. I don’t know you anymore –the person I thought you were would never have set me up the way you did.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah. You’re right, but this is hard for us all.” Mrs Norn replied.

“You say that, but how do I know unless you tell me?” Smidge looked back to her mum again. “Tell me, Julia. Tell me what I need to know.” Smidge regretted the look of hurt in her mum’s eye but knew that it was the only way to find out the truth.

“The woman you met in limbo was your Gran. Josephine was my mum.”

“Is your mum, surely?” Smidge interrupted.

“I don’t know who you met but my mother is dead. She couldn’t accept that the Gift was not a birth rite; it only passed to those who were deemed worthy.” Julia paused, waiting to see whether Smidge was going to make a snide comment and then continued. “I often wondered why mother used to keep such a tight rein on me; she never let me out of her sight until I met your father. Quite what she was thinking I’ll never know, but I knew nothing of the gift until I found it whilst in a car accident.

“It was our second date –your father and I- the car must have hit some spilt diesel; we spun and then somersaulted out of control on the A23 after being slammed into by a van. We couldn’t get out of the car; it was on its side and the seatbelts were barely holding us. God knows how, but I wasn’t hurt badly and managed to get out of my seat belt.. your father wasn’t quite so lucky, he had badly broken his leg and arm due to the impact and he was in a bad way.

“I knew we had to get out but had no idea what to do; I’m afraid at that stage I was panicking, my mind had just gone blank. The next thing I knew we were outside the car, both your father and I and in my hand was the handle; the same handle that you now use. Why it chose that particular time to appear I have no idea but it saved us both.”

Smidge could hardly believe what she was hearing, it all seemed so fantastical but made perfect sense to her now. Mrs Norn confirmed what she had already surmised.

“The handle chose that time to materialise because your mind was of one clear intent –to get out. Up until that point your mother had over-shadowed you and you would not have been allowed to use it properly.”

“Yes, that’s what I thought.” Smidge replied, nodding.

“You’ve grown up so much, Smidge; I barely recognise my daughter now.” Her mum replied, trying to hold back the tears.

“Please tell me more, mum –what happened next?”

“I couldn’t tell your father what had happened; there was no way he would understand it –I barely understood it myself. I asked the only one I could go to; the only one I had ever gone to –my mother.. and that’s where things fell apart.

“The look on her face when I showed her the handle… I’ve never seen such twisted hatred; she didn’t care what had happened to me, all she saw was the handle in my hand. The fact that I nearly died meant nothing to her –all she asked was why I was holding on to her birth-right. She accused me of stealing from her, usurping what was rightfully hers.”

“What did you do?” Smidge asked, shocked by the revelation.

“Nothing I did, nothing I said made any difference – she actually threw me out; that very night. I had no one else to go to. The only person I could think of was my old geography teacher; someone who had always been there for me in college –Mrs Norn.”

“So you were mum’s teacher as well?” Smidge asked Mrs Norn.

“I wasn’t very good at Geography, which is why I changed to RI.”

“You can’t be that old.” Smidge replied, bemused by this change of events.

“I’ll take that as a compliment…. But I think I can clear some of your confusion. I was sent to watch over your mother, as I have been over you. My role has always been only to advise, not to get involved –unless certain circumstances prevailed.”

“Like now.”

“Yes… like now.” Sarah turned back to her mum.

“So what caused the confrontation?”

“What confrontation?” Julia replied.

“Well, I’m guessing that something had to happen for your mum, Nana Josephine, to get banished to limbo like that. I’m guessing it had something to do with dad?”

“Yes. Your nan couldn’t get it out of her head that the handle, and the power that it represented wasn’t hers –it was never supposed to be hers- and through her rage, her feelings of betrayal, something.. contacted her.”

“This is the Sunder?” Smidge interrupted. Julia and Mrs Norn looked at each other.

“Yes. Somehow the Sunder knew of Josephine’s desires; her hatred of me and it used that for its own ends. I knew nothing of this, and had moved in with your father. We got married and never heard from your nan for months after that, or so I thought. What I didn’t know was she had been… talking to your father on the sly, without telling me…. Filling him with stories about me and the power behind the handle. Mrs Norn had been training me by that stage and I could consciously open doorways; doing my best to keep it away from your dad. He didn’t believe in anything that couldn’t be explained by science so I didn’t try.

“One day he didn’t return from work and I received a phone call from your nan saying that he was with her. He wanted a divorce because I had been holding out on him. She had obviously been telling him that the handle and all it represented was evil and they wanted to stage some kind of intervention to get me to see sense.

“I went over to see her, unsure of what would be waiting for me. I was pregnant with you at that time and he didn’t want the mother of his child to be trafficking with anything demonic. The stuff that was coming out of his mouth.. it wasn’t like him at all; she had managed to pervert him completely, or rather the Sunder had. He tried to take the handle off of me but couldn’t. He forced me to make a choice between him or the power behind the handle. I chose him, obviously –what else was I to do? I had lost my mother to the responsibility… this burden that lies behind the handle; I couldn’t lose him as well.

“She… she tried to take it; snatch it away from me and we struggled for it. I fell awkwardly, badly… somehow I opened a doorway without thinking where it was going and I just wanted to send the handle there where it could cause no more pain. She lunged for it, tried to stop me from doing this but.. fell through the rift…. I’ve never seen her again.”

“Couldn’t you find her?”

“How could I? I just opened the door blindly, not thinking of an exit point.” Julia hung her head and cried.

“What happened then?”

“Your father took me to hospital; he was worried about you, about the scuffle… but after that he left me. Once you were safe he just left; he couldn’t reconcile what had happened and his part in it all. He couldn’t bear the guilt and just left… so I did lose him as well in the long run. Soon after that you were born and I tried to forget about everything that happened and prayed that you’d never have to endure anything like it yourself.”

“Oh mum… I’m so sorry… I never realised.” Smidge said, sobbing now.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I should have told you all this before now, but I just wanted to protect you.” They hugged and Mrs Norn just looked on passively, knowing far more than she let on.

After a while, when Smidge had dried her eyes, she knew that now was the time for healing and answers.

“Mrs Norn – I’ve had enough of this. This has gone on long enough; you know far more than you’re telling. I want to know what the handle is; what the power is that it represents. And you’re going to tell me now or I will give it back to Limbo and make sure that the Sunder knows where it is. So for the last time… tell me now.”